Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Interbike Exploration and Jubilation

Ahhh Interbike. The annual celebration of all things bicycle held in the city that stands as a monument to American excess; Las Vegas. It is a rather interesting pairing and with this being my first trip to the expo I wanted to experience both sides. Now that I have checked this adventure off my list I can say it was a fantastic experience but not necessarily one that I need to repeat on an annual basis. My story shall begin with the expo itself.

I have wanted to attend Interbike since the first day I laid eyes on a two wheeled human powered vehicle. After many long years of anticipation I can confidently say the event did not disappoint. It began on Wednesday morning and despite a long day and late night on Tuesday I was still up at the crack of dawn bouncing around like a kid on christmas morning. My traveling companions were super excited to wake up to the sound of me bouncing up and down on my cot at 7am. If only they knew what was about to happen them. Never bring a hyperactive bike nerd to Vegas. It only increases their already excessive energy levels.

So what did I see? Well, if you own a computer and have any idea how to use it for the power of good you have already seen everything at the expo on Bikerumor and a thousand other interweb sites. I'll do my best to tell my version of the story with a somewhat controlled photo dump. Spoiler alert, there is a urine joke in your near future.

This is where it all began. I was so excited to pick up my badge that I couldn't hold the camera steady. Either that or my camera sucks. You decide. Of course, if you choose the latter option and would like to buy me a new camera I'm certainly not above accepting gifts. In case you are wondering, I prefer Canon.

It is hard to put into words just how large this trade show is. It's apparently even more difficult to put into a picture.

First stop, Moots! The most beautiful bike at the show was their 29er. This is not simply my opinion. According to a statistic that I made up for this post, 118% of Interbike attendees agree that Moots created sex on wheels with this one. I didn't take this blurry photo so I defer back to the earlier comment about you buying me a camera. If all of my readers chip in just $100 each I'll have $200 to put toward this purchase. Thanks for doubling my readership, mom.

Stops 2-5. Yes, I went to the Moots booth on five separate occasions. Not sequentially of course as that would have bordered on creepy. But seriously, just look at that thing. Tasty times two.

No trip to Interbike would be complete without stopping by the Specialized booth. They had one of Jaroslav Kulhavy's bikes on hand. I may have touched it. There were unconfirmed reports of weeping. I don't know anything about that.

Tell me you wouldn't lick that bike if you had the chance.

So now is the point where this post could easily fall into a lengthy series of photos of various 29" wheeled bikes followed by my comments about how amazing they all are. I'll spare you that pain and go straight to my celebrity siting list. It is as follows: Chris Horner, Dave Zabriske, Levi Leipheimer, Ryder Hesjedahl, James Macilvain(yes he counts and no I don't care if you have no idea who he is), Chris, Sugai, Elvis and Ned Overend. Yes this is my second Ned sighting. No, I did not talk to him. I didn't talk to him last time and that approach has worked out pretty well so far. Do you have any idea what could happen? If I were to speak to him he might actually respond at which point I would pee all over the rug. Nobody wants that. Especially the clean up crew in Vegas. Look at how they respond such things....

That may be taking caution to an unnecessarily high level.

What else did I see? Every damn thing, that's what. And I went back to the Moots booth again. Over the course of two and half days I went to every booth at the show. Some were better than others of course and I was mocked relentlessly for touching every single tire but hey, I likes me some tires. There were more components, accessories, clothes and trinkets than I could ever cover here. So instead I present you with a picture of this guy:

I have no idea who this guy is. Apparently he was trying to sell some sort of ab machine that is so intense you have to wear sunglasses while you use it. It seemed like a great concept to me. Except for the ab machine part.

I also saw this thing:
For that very special person who loves the Stairmaster but wants to take in some scenery while they work on their fitness goals. Best to wear a helmet to protect you from the embarrassment of being excessively Caucasian.

The trip did include a short burst of exercise that I was very excited about. As if I wasn't already excited about everything else. Lemond Fitness had a stationary trainer set up with a power meter so Interbike attendees could compete against each other in a battle royale of watts supremacy. I didn't win. I know your shocked. However, I got to watch Dan, traveling companion number one, put up a number that held 3rd place until the end of the show. Notoriety and a free t-shirt for him. Free socks for me. Sweet.

I'm confident a gold embossed certificate of achievement will be arriving at the shop any day now.

Yes I rocked my sweet new socks with my sandals. No, people did not point and laugh.

Me, I put up 1146. Not too shabby for a little dude with chicken legs. Even less shabby when you consider that my score was 37 watts higher than a gentleman I shall only refer to as traveling companion number two. That is really not the most flattering name for him but he is currently in a safe house as a part of the 37 watts less than Dave protection program. The secrecy of this program is of the utmost importance and shall not be violated under any circumstances.

So that is the expo half of my Interbike story. What is the other half? Well, that would be the drunker side of Vegas. Oh the stories I will tell you through stilted prose and blurry photos. Don't forget, your individual contribution to my new camera fund will only decrease if you bring additional readers to my blog. Put on your reader recruiting hat and get to work. I like Canon.

1 comment:

  1. LOL....I know a little Italian who would have licked a few bikes if given the chance...and yeah, I can admit I'd be right there with her! Glad you got to live the dream....and Pentax is waaaaaaay better :)